(Phone rings)
I was in the middle of something and felt irritated by the noise. Then I checked the phone, Oh! it's Dad. (I've to pick his call...anyway it would hardly last for a couple of minutes.)
Me- Yes Dad. How're you?
Dad- I'm good. Do you know what happened to the interview that Rohit gave yesterday.
Me- (irritated) No. Why don't you ask him directly, Dad. I know you don't wanna ask him this as you think it would put pressure on him. Mom also asks same questions to me and I really don't like that Dad.
Dad- (understands that I don't like my brother being treated with overly caution) I called him and as he didn't pick so I called you.
By this time, I'm already ashamed that I felt a bit irritated with Dad. Why I can't learn to maintain cool like him. I never say sorry to my parents after making any mistake, it's so weird. Rather, I take corrective action immediately.
Me- Dad, I know you don't worry and are wise to understand that Rohit will get a job soon. He is jobless, so what? He is learning the right things at the right place. Trust me Dad, he is picking up things so fast that I can guarantee that he would get a job soon. And, it's not that he didn't get job offers. It was the best thing he did to stick to his passion to become a Java Developer. He will be in demand.
(While I am telling all this, my Dad is nodding and giving me psychological signals that indicate that I should carry on.)
Me- Do you remember that he got couple of tech support jobs and that job from the startup at Bhubaneswar. It was the best thing you did to send him to Bangalore. JLC is a reputed name and he is performing well at the institute and has a rock solid attitude.
Dad- (satisfied with the lecture from me)- He is using innovative ways to learn, even I was mesmerized to know that. It's not that I don't ask about what's going on but as I know that he is sincerely focused on his goal and so I don't want to feel any pressure from our side.
Me- That's so good! (The thing which irritated me initially was the right thing that my Dad was doing... See, after knowing the reason of my parents behavior, I was proud for having sensible caring parent.)
Me- Dad, do you know... it's so difficult to get a job from off campus. We have to snatch food from the Lion's mouth. Rohit will get fiercely strong by giving so many interviews.
Just Imagine that 500-1000 guys are their for 15-20 jobs. It's not even easy for Resha to get selected in such a scenario. Even she might get rejected. So there is no shame if Rohit doesn't crack interviews. Sooner or later, he would get placed and having a sister to guide him is a big plus. Success of Resha is a boon for Rohit as well and now they're in the same city.
Resha is my sister who is our batman. She is six year younger to me and two year younger to my brother. She is our unit of measurement when it comes to academics. Recently she joined Intel India. She was a average student throughout her life till first year of college and most of the lessons I learned in life are result of my mentoring sessions with my siblings. If you want to get into top product based companies, I might have some solid advice for you.
Over and above all, I'm there to mentor him. Even today, people ask me to help them with their interviews.
Somehow, the conversation ended after 40 minutes in which I was the one who was talking and talking. Voila, who talks to his Dad for so long.
After disconnecting the call, I took a deep breath and stretched my arms as it was hurting. I was wondering what Dad might think of me giving him lecture or gyan.
Again got a call from him within seconds he disconnected his call.
Me- Hello...Hello..
*No reply* the some background noise, which means that the call to last dialed number got connected.
I was about to disconnect. But, then I heard Mom saying, " What was Rohan telling? You were talking for almost an hour.
Heart in mouth situation, my dad was going to say something about me when he is not aware that I'm listening. (Dilemma) Should I disconnect the call or should I listen to his unadulterated views about our conversation. I was scared as I didn't want bad remarks from Dad. It was a lifetime opportunity to learn more about the dance of human psychology.
I chose to listen to what Dad says for some three and half minutes which were very difficult yet vital.
Dad to Mom- I think you've asked something about Rohit's placement from Rohan. He got upset when I asked about Rohit's Interview.
Mom- Oh!
Dad- You know that when Rohan gets the momentum while talking then things get lengthy. *After that he briefly touched upon what all things I told him. He was convinced and even Mom was happy to know about what I told him. I was feeling that Dad was Proud on me. My Parents must had a sound sleep*
Lessons Learned-
- Talk with conviction. I stand and walk while making some serious talking. It's bit embarrassing when someone is around. Make someone believe in your words. You can do that only by being brutally honest yet candid.
- Give analogy suitable as per the situation. My Dad burst into laughter when I told that even Resha might not clear the interview for which Rohit went as even she can't clear an interview every time. He added, you're right. *She has four job offers and two internships* Never failed in interviews for half a dozen companies.
- Address the root cause of the Problem- People knowingly or unknowingly say things that hurts Mom. She doesn't like when people say that can't Resha give a job offer to Rohit. Is it a fruit? So, bringing her into picture. Making them understand that having a successful sibling is a deadly psychological advantage. Also, it helps in studies as they're in same city now.
- Make someone count their blessings- My parents really get happy when I remind them how much I admire my sister. They trust me when I say my brother is Jobless not worthless.... infact, he is priceless.
- We often take loved ones for granted- I notice my behavior every time I get annoyed over my parents. It's frequency is decreasing yet I'm fallible... I'm human not a robot. I keep repeating the mistakes...keep regretting and keep doing corrective actions. It's all part of the game.
- Follow your interaction with your parents and/or other loved ones-Do notice how many times you hurt them.
- Don't be ashamed of your pitfalls- Try to rectify them.
- Don't feel embarrassed if you're jobless- It's part of the game. I tell my brother that ten years down the line, his success would inspire many people while I, who has got job from campus would only appeal to a few who might need some tips for campus placement. *I'm glad that I'm able to gauge the motivation level of my brother and he is really a positive person.
- People do judge. I judge. I will not admit because I hate judging people. Still, I judge unknowingly. And that's why, I didn't express my happiness due to sister's job while talking to him. He must have felt, how can my brother be so cold. After all he offered sweets to his PG mates when our sister got into INTEL. Some of the guys even asked him that doesn't he feel bad that his younger sister will start earning and he's still jobless. He didn't take his remarks seriously and told that she is my Sister not my competitor. She got what she deserved. I'm proud of her. * I had goosebumps when I heard that. I could've cried when I heard about his sheer positive attitude.
I'm a Mechanical Engineer who loves to understand human psychology and find patterns. You can follow this blog
Psychological Patterns for learning more about human psychology.
